This was written in 2009. I'm not sure why I wanted to post it today.
I have found that my presence in the lives of others is much like a strange dream. After a while, they just seem to wake up from me. They know that I made an imprint in their lives, but any lasting image of me is sentenced to remain in the darker parts of their memories… memories which are seldom reflected upon and fall back on the fantasies and twisted realities that dream worlds represent.
There’s something about waking from a dream… immediately you know that you are back in reality and have to face real issues, and all of your nocturnal adventures and exploits, be they terrifying, gratifying, death-defying or wondrous, are suddenly over. Sometimes for reasons unexplained, we wake up still believing that we are still in dreamland, but inevitably all it takes is a little rational thought to fully be convinced as to which life is truly real.
So it is with me. I have never heard of anyone who would want to miss so much of their life just to continue living a dream. But then again, is it really living? It might feel real, might sound real, might seem real… but the reality that comes with one’s waking has a greater impact still and any previous “reality” is reduced to shards and altogether obliterated as the mockery of the morning light mercilessly brightens the once-dark rooms and banishes dreams until the eyes close again.
They might remember my name. They might remember something I said or did. They might even tell others about me. They might remember some bond we may have had, but truly, it can’t last past the sunrise. When our eyes are opened, all of the “real” things become so much grander. Your true work, money, school, community, love… all of a sudden make their prominence known.
I say a strange dream because it cannot be described; sometimes there is not an explanation to be had. It is not a nightmare (hopefully), it isn’t a revelatory vision or psychotic oddity, but something strange. Common sense doesn’t work against it, reason is senseless, and logic is altogether useless. In this dream of me-- in the dream that is me-- there is no battle between waking and slumber. It is up to the dreamer to decide to which master he or she will submit.
Have you ever had a wonderful dream? Have you ever woken up from a scenic, fantastic night vision and been disappointed that it didn’t last? Have you ever actually wished that what you did, who you were, or where you had been could be carried with you through the threshold?
Have you ever really preferred waking up when those dreams happen? Does reality taste better, fill more, or bring more satisfaction? In every dream, no matter how vivid it was, have you ever noticed how there was always something that was out of place? Something that wasn’t right? Something that fooled you into believing that what you saw was truth?
Have you ever noticed mid-dream that you were dreaming? How did you react? Did you wish for the dream to be over so that you could escape? Did you take advantage of your situation, knowing you could do anything or say anything knowing that morning was soon coming and it would be of no consequence? Did you heave a sigh and painfully resign yourself to your disappearance from the stage of your dream?
No one can be indifferent to how they wake up, even though we should come to expect it. When we go to sleep, we know that we will dream. Even if we don’t remember them, we still have dreams. I don’t know where those dreams go or where they came from.
Dreams can provide you with everything you have ever wanted. They can grant you those powers you have always desired. They can take you to spectacular places, summon reunions with those you miss, and even destroy all those imperfections you find in yourself and right what’s wrong. However, it comes not without a sacrifice.
Can you bear to close your eyes to all that is around you and sleep just to continue to live a dream?
I guess some people do like always staying awake. It’s easier to see what might come get you at night. It’s safer. If you dared sleep, you wouldn’t notice all that is happening in the world around you. You wouldn’t see any dark figures hiding in the shadows. You would be better prepared for the dangers and fears of the world you live in.
Wouldn’t you?
No one ever mourned over a lost dream. After all, it was just a dream. Your life goes on. There’s too much to do, too much to take in. Happiness is in the awakening world. A dream will find its own way. A dream doesn’t need food, water or shelter. After all, it is just a dream. No one, when it comes down to it, would throw the bright colors and sounds away for a dream. After all, it was just a dream.
I have found that my presence in the lives of others is much like a strange dream. After a while, they just seem to wake up from me. They know that I made an imprint in their lives, but any lasting image of me is sentenced to remain in the darker parts of their memories… memories which are seldom reflected upon and fall back on the fantasies and twisted realities that dream worlds represent.
There’s something about waking from a dream… immediately you know that you are back in reality and have to face real issues, and all of your nocturnal adventures and exploits, be they terrifying, gratifying, death-defying or wondrous, are suddenly over. Sometimes for reasons unexplained, we wake up still believing that we are still in dreamland, but inevitably all it takes is a little rational thought to fully be convinced as to which life is truly real.
So it is with me. I have never heard of anyone who would want to miss so much of their life just to continue living a dream. But then again, is it really living? It might feel real, might sound real, might seem real… but the reality that comes with one’s waking has a greater impact still and any previous “reality” is reduced to shards and altogether obliterated as the mockery of the morning light mercilessly brightens the once-dark rooms and banishes dreams until the eyes close again.
They might remember my name. They might remember something I said or did. They might even tell others about me. They might remember some bond we may have had, but truly, it can’t last past the sunrise. When our eyes are opened, all of the “real” things become so much grander. Your true work, money, school, community, love… all of a sudden make their prominence known.
I say a strange dream because it cannot be described; sometimes there is not an explanation to be had. It is not a nightmare (hopefully), it isn’t a revelatory vision or psychotic oddity, but something strange. Common sense doesn’t work against it, reason is senseless, and logic is altogether useless. In this dream of me-- in the dream that is me-- there is no battle between waking and slumber. It is up to the dreamer to decide to which master he or she will submit.
Have you ever had a wonderful dream? Have you ever woken up from a scenic, fantastic night vision and been disappointed that it didn’t last? Have you ever actually wished that what you did, who you were, or where you had been could be carried with you through the threshold?
Have you ever really preferred waking up when those dreams happen? Does reality taste better, fill more, or bring more satisfaction? In every dream, no matter how vivid it was, have you ever noticed how there was always something that was out of place? Something that wasn’t right? Something that fooled you into believing that what you saw was truth?
Have you ever noticed mid-dream that you were dreaming? How did you react? Did you wish for the dream to be over so that you could escape? Did you take advantage of your situation, knowing you could do anything or say anything knowing that morning was soon coming and it would be of no consequence? Did you heave a sigh and painfully resign yourself to your disappearance from the stage of your dream?
No one can be indifferent to how they wake up, even though we should come to expect it. When we go to sleep, we know that we will dream. Even if we don’t remember them, we still have dreams. I don’t know where those dreams go or where they came from.
Dreams can provide you with everything you have ever wanted. They can grant you those powers you have always desired. They can take you to spectacular places, summon reunions with those you miss, and even destroy all those imperfections you find in yourself and right what’s wrong. However, it comes not without a sacrifice.
Can you bear to close your eyes to all that is around you and sleep just to continue to live a dream?
I guess some people do like always staying awake. It’s easier to see what might come get you at night. It’s safer. If you dared sleep, you wouldn’t notice all that is happening in the world around you. You wouldn’t see any dark figures hiding in the shadows. You would be better prepared for the dangers and fears of the world you live in.
Wouldn’t you?
No one ever mourned over a lost dream. After all, it was just a dream. Your life goes on. There’s too much to do, too much to take in. Happiness is in the awakening world. A dream will find its own way. A dream doesn’t need food, water or shelter. After all, it is just a dream. No one, when it comes down to it, would throw the bright colors and sounds away for a dream. After all, it was just a dream.
I remember when you wrote this! For me, there are plenty of dreams I would have wanted to take with me while others can stay way way back behind the curtain of memories.
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